Before I continue updating my blog, I would love to wish everyone a " Happy Independent`s Day " and thank Adeline for the Independent`s Day`s night. =)



I have this feeling everyone is giving up on me. And this is not the first time.

It is funny how the chemistry I have with people I know is coming to an end, but when it comes to strangers, it is blooming. As you know, there is a thick line between both of these categories. A line that defines everything. Everything that answers my questions. What am I talking about? Maybe " Everything I Am Not " by The Veronicas is making me emotional. Or maybe I am just confessing.

Don`t get offended because I am going to be honest.

Significant other. I admit I used to played people`s heart, but I regretted it after witnessing the consequences where ex boyfriends spreaded rumours about me, but I am not that person who I used to be. I am that person who is looking for a serious relationship where I can see significant other and me in the future. Well, I am proud to say I am in a serious relationship with Gaius, but my seriousness leads me to a Blackhole Hell. When you are serious, everything matters. We had this huge fight last year, but we promised each other to let go of the past, but I broke it. Every time I think about it, I will start crying for hours. Don`t you just hate the past? Maybe the best way to forget the past is by letting go of Gaius, but I rather suffer from the past than letting go of something that I know I will regret doing it. Or maybe I should just keep quiet. Well, I guess the past leads me to who I am. The most paranoid person in the world. Because of paranoidness, we are having a hard time communicating. Well, I don`t know about him, but I am.

Family. When I was born, we were living in this old apartment that no one bothers to look at it for the second time where we were the happiest family in the world. =) After one year, we moved to this common house where everything was great. Just great. =) After ten years, we moved to this current house I am staying at where everyting is starting to fade away. Well, I guess the older you get, the looser the relationship between your family and you. All I want is to have a dinner with family in the dining room like how we used to have, but I don`t know when my dream will come true since everyone is busy with their life.

BFFs. Joanne, Sarah, Saktia and I were always together. The four of us only. Parties, sleepovers and recesses, but now, Saktia is with Su Ann and Sarah is with me. Well, we are still friends, but that feeling is not there anymore. To be honest, the relationship between Shivani and I is stronger than the relationship between Joanne, Sarah, Saktia and I. What can I say? I miss that feeling I used to felt. I remember how we used to promise each other we will stick to each other forever. Bullshit. How to do that when we already breaking up?

Look. I am sorry if I offended you, but I can`t measure up to this mess. I don`t have anyone to listen to my problems except my blog. After reading this post, don`t talk about it because I have enough. If you refused to, brain wash yourself.


Yesterday, I was talking to Gaius on the phone.

Gaius.: Dad bought me a pair of school shoes.
Me.: But you are going to graduate in three months time.
Gaius.: He is the one who wanted to buy me a pair of school shoes.
Me.: Okay.
Gaius.: Anyway, mom was showing me a pair of flipflops and she said she wanted to buy it for you, but I told her they are fugly.
Me.: OhmyGod. Did she buy it?
Gaius.: Yes, but I don`t know whether they are for you or not.
Me.: Ceh.

I hope Aunt Glory bought it for me. =) After all, I am her favourite daughter in law. =) Haha.

Gaius.: I want to go Christmas shopping with you.
Me.: How much your parents will give you?
Gaius.: RM 5oo.
Me.: I love you.

Look. Gaius is still schooling. Therefore, he is jobless. So it is hard for him to buy me expensive things,[ Su Ann, I hate you. -_- Haha. ] but who cares? I can`t wait to go Christmas shopping with him. =)

I love my life because I always get what I want like that digital camera, that high heels[ Sarah, stop being jealous of me. =) Haha. ] and that Converse handbag. Even though I didn`t get Saktia`s puppy, but at least I know dad wanted to buy it for me. =) Dad, thanks. =) Anyway, I want this. =)


I miss my long side parting fringe. It makes me look matured. What? I love matured looks. =) Anyway, if I told you I am going to cut my fringe, slap me. Ohwait. Don`t slap me because there is a higher chance I will slap you back because there is a higher chance I will forget I blogged about this.


Yesterday, Sarah came to my place for a sleepover.