Head Over Heels, Heart Before Head.

19 August 2007 Sunday, August 19, 2007

There are three things that I fear the most which are a broken heart, rejections and loneliness. Unfortunately, I am suffering from a broken heart. It hurts. A lot. I can tell when I am listening to " Best I Ever Had " by Vertical Horizon for uncountable to the power of uncountable times and I am still suffering from a broken heart. -_- All this time, this song is the cure for my broken heart, but I don`t know what happened. Maybe it is time for me to find a new song.[ If you had a song for your broken heart, tell me. I need it. Badly. ] Or maybe my broken heart is being too stubborn.

For now, I don`t trust anyone. Including my instincts. Don`t complain about whyIdon`ttrustyou to me. I am sick of it. All I want is a friend or stranger to listen to me. I don`t need your feedbacks. I am sick of it too. All I want you to do is to listen. I don`t mind if you were thinking about something else, but all I want to do is to express my feelings. I am sorry if I confused you, but I know you know what I mean. Well, I am a paranoid person. So it is hard for me to find a perfect friend or stranger because they are either think I am a problematical person or I am a cooocooo in the head person.

Trust is a sensitive issue that everyone should be alert about. Once you have trust in a certain person, you tend to give in, but once that person betrays your trust for them, it is more than pain. After I realized that trusting people easily is a mistake, I jumped to trusting certain people, but what I didn`t know is it is a mistake too. Well, it is time for me to trust no one. Maybe I will be happier that way. So much more happier. I don`t understand why people betray others` trust for them. Maybe it is a tradition. First, you trust them. Second, they betray your trust for them. Last, but not least, you go crash and burn. Misery, I tell you. It leads you to a feeling where it hurts you every second without failing. When time passed by, you are sitting in the corner trying to flashback to the past where your loves betrayed your trust for them, it still hurts. A lot. All this time, I thought that time heals a broken heart, but it doesn`t. The heartache still haunts you no matter how long time passes by. If you don`t believe me, try to flashback to the past where your significant other cheated on you or your friends backstabbed you.[ For your kind information, Gaius didn`t cheat on me and friends didn`t backstab me. ] Does it hurt? I bet it does.

I don`t need a nation of clowns to make me happy. All I need is one person to listen to my problems. <#3

Yours truly.

I am Carmen and cool to meet you, you good looking motherfucker. :D Okay. Let's get to business. I am sorry to say this, but I am self center which explains why most of the pictures in this blog are me, myself and I. :D Oh, and I love to do silly faces. :)