Head Over Heels, Heart Before Head.

22 July 2008 Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Normally, I would blog at the end of the day, but fuck that tradition.

I am currently updating my Facebook in Baju Kurung while listening to " Best I Ever Had " by Vertical Horizon. It have been a long, long time since I updated my Facebook and listened to the only song that curves up my lips when I am down. By now, you should have acknowledged the fact that I am down. :( Loneliness is attacking me. Again.

School was okay. Though, I felt lonely. Mojo Jojo was absent, Curly Wurly and I talked for a few minutes because Raveeni kept asking me to listen to her Kiran's jokes, saying he is a girl and Raveeni and yours truly talked for a few seconds because she was busy making Kiran's jokes. Overall, it was a borefest. Oh, and Miss Childlesstard was siding the dudes. Again. It was annoying.

Moving on.

I scribbled these words on my left arm that I have never thought I would write. I mean. I was just scribbling some words with CoconutTree's Black pen during Additional Mathematics to kill time. When I read it, it left me with this anxiety in me causing my heart to beat 1ooo times per second, but I choose to ignore. That feeling came back when everyone saw my scribbled left arm and ask what I wrote.

That feeling.

You know that feeling where you thought you were right, but in the end, life proved that you were wrong? It sucks to be in that situation. It resulted in this confused state of mind that never seems to see a dead end. It just keeps pushing you more and more. Hmmm. It is confusing. Over all, I choose to not believe anyone because everyone is a bitch.

Why are these words tangling at the back of my mind?

There is no time for that now. Answering these popped out question is not what I do the best. Tuition is in three hours time. I should go to sleep.

If only I got this power to know who is real and who is fake.
Because she has been a candy nowadays, she moved from my least favourite people's list to my favourite people's list. :)
I love her because of her speech that made my teared, but it still didn't change my feelings towards them.
Doesn't she get bored of Additional Mathematics?
I don't understand why she is sexist. Maybe she is trying to get them to fuck with her so that she wouldn't die as a virgin. :D
I wonder whether the only reason why she approached me is to make her jealous or not. :S
No matter they say, I still have this feeling she loves them more than me.
I wish I had enough courage to cut myself just to remind me of what my mission is.

Yours truly.

I am Carmen and cool to meet you, you good looking motherfucker. :D Okay. Let's get to business. I am sorry to say this, but I am self center which explains why most of the pictures in this blog are me, myself and I. :D Oh, and I love to do silly faces. :)